Jun 15, 2021
On this episode of Financially Naked: Stories from The Financial Gym, our host is Mike Poulin, DC-based Financial Trainer, and he is joined by David and John, The Debt Free Guys, to talk about the queer community and finances.
- John and David have been together for 18 years. They didn’t have any conversations about money until a year and a half after they were together when they had a financial “aha” moment.
- They were both working in financial services helping people save for retirement and save for their kids’ college and they weren’t doing this themselves.
- Looking at buying land to build a vacation home in Colorado led them to coming clean with each other about having $51,000 in credit card debt. They both thought the other one had their financial act together and it was a deflating realization.
- After this, they had a discussion to figure out how they each got to this point. They itemized expenses for the past 12 months and it gave them clarity, and they realized what they were spending on was not bringing them happiness.
- Now that we are able to socialize and places are opening up, many people are scared that they will go back to old habits and lose the progress they made financially over the last year.
- When you find what matters most to you, it will be motivation to continue on. Find a healthy balance between socializing and meeting your financial goals. Most people just want to spend time with friends and family, and it doesn’t have to involve spending money.
- In 2019, John and David wrote an article for Forbes, called The LGBT Community Faces These 5 Financial Challenges. Since then, not much has changed, as the LGBTQ community has been more adversely affected by the pandemic than the general population.
- A significant positive change that has happened in the last 12 to 18 months is more LGBTQ people have been joining the financial discussion. Having a conversation is the first step in pursuing financial independence.
- The biggest challenge John and David see is credit card debt, student loan debt, and lack of retirement savings. No demographic is really doing great in those categories, but the LGBTQ population has been struggling more.
- 40% of homeless youth identify as LGBTQ and there are many others that graduate high school and live at home in unhealthy environments.
- The earlier you get started with saving, the confidence level you have to ask for what you are worth at a job will affect you the rest of your life. The legacy effect of what happens when you are excluded from your family, or unsupported, makes a major impact. For kids that figure out who they are at a young age, and don’t have support, it is much harder.
- Mike has started UTMA accounts (Uniform Transfers to Minors Act) for his nieces and nephews, and he deposits money into those accounts instead of giving them gifts. Doing something like this sets the foundation for smart money conversations with kids.
- 65% of LGBTQ people surveyed said they had been adversely affected financially by the pandemic versus 50% of the general public. There are a lot of LGBTQ people who are struggling financially, and because of the mental state that puts them in, it may trap them in a spending spiral.
- If you are in this spiral and are struggling financially, get crystal clear on what it is you most want and start to spend and live your life accordingly, by looking for tools and resources to help you. Look for a support group. There are a lot of groups online that are free.
- A lot of people have an aversion to spending money to get help financially. Those who have joined the credit card payoff course The Debt Free Guys offer have benefited far more than what they paid. Trainers at The Gym have Financial Trainers.
- John and David both came from times and places when it wasn’t okay to be gay. When they were each first independent, they tried to make up for the past by spending on looking fabulous. They felt they would be ostracized if they didn’t live up to the stereotype and they spent beyond their means to live that way.
- Your lifestyle doesn’t need to look like a baller. The way we disguise our need for acceptance can look really good. Sometimes it looks like generosity. What is the motivation for doing what you truly do and are you spending in a way that is an emotional drag.
Connect with The Debt Free Guys
Social Media: @debtfreeguys
Podcast: Queer Money Podcast
Website: debtfreeguys.com
Meet The Trainer